Marsha GillWhile watching the evening news, a report caught my attention. The story’s subject was “Mom guilt,” and much of the story was around stress management. The story got me thinking about the root cause of mom guilt and how it is certainly a thing, but so is daughter guilt. Daughters become mothers, just saying. Many daughters struggle with feelings of guilt in their relationship with their mother. I worked with daughters who often shared how they felt ashamed and guilty for being unable to meet the expectations of their mothers or for flat-out having difficulties with their mothers. It can be tough to shake off the burden of shame and guilt and move on, especially when the true essence of the topic goes undiscussed. I enjoy mother-daughter coaching for this very reason. Helping women get to the root cause of confusion, tension, and disempowerment. I’m here for the conversation and to provide a few ways to alleviate those negative feelings and lift the weight off your shoulders.
Check out these eight tips. I believe practicing these (tips) skills will help you leave the burden of guilt behind. Freeing you to feel better about yourself, transform your relationship with your mom, unlock your full potential, and discover your true self.
1. Evaluate the source of your guilt. Whose standards are you holding yourself to? Your mother’s? Society’s? Make sure you’re using a set of standards that are meaningful to you. When it comes to evaluating the source of your guilt, it’s important to start by identifying the specific action or behavior that triggered your feelings of guilt. Take a moment to reflect and be as objective as possible. Avoid jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, or even judging yourself. Now, ask yourself why you feel guilty and examine the situation from all angles. It’s important to understand the root cause of your guilt. By being honest with yourself, you can gain a better understanding of your emotions and make positive changes in your life.
2. Learning from our mistakes is a crucial part of growing and becoming a better version of ourselves. It’s okay to make mistakes, and we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when we do. Instead, we should try to understand why we feel guilty and how we can avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. By taking the time to reflect on our actions and thought patterns and connecting with our feelings and unvoiced needs, we can identify the triggers that led to our mistakes and take steps to avoid similar situations in the future. Remember, nobody is perfect, and making mistakes is a natural part of life.
3. Guilt is a feeling that we all experience from time to time, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t always serve us well. If you’ve done everything you could to make things right, there’s no need to beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes, and the important thing is to learn and grow from them. So, instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the present moment and take positive steps toward your goals. You can use your experiences as lessons and use them to make better decisions moving forward. Remember to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion as you navigate life’s challenges.
5. Accept your feelings of guilt. It’s totally okay to feel guilty after making a mistake, especially if it’s something that has affected someone you care about, like your mom. Don’t worry, we all make mistakes from time to time! The important thing is to accept your feelings of guilt and work through them so you can move forward. You can start by acknowledging the emotions you’re experiencing and giving yourself permission to feel them. Once you’ve done that, you can begin to think about what you need and how to communicate what you need to feel heard and understood.
6. Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is essential to healing and moving forward after making a mistake. It can be easy to be too hard on yourself and get caught up in self-blame, but it’s vital to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Remember that we all make mistakes, and it’s okay to mess up sometimes. Instead of dwelling on the mistake, try to learn from it and make a plan for how you can avoid making the same error in the future. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that you are only human. By forgiving yourself, you can let go of negative emotions and move forward with a clear mind and heart.
7. Let it go. After you’ve taken responsibility for your actions and made an attempt to amend, it’s time to move on. it’s vital to let go of the past and focus on positive thoughts and productive actions. This can help us to stay motivated, optimistic, and focused on achieving our goals. By focusing on the present and future, we can create a more positive and fulfilling life. Focus on positive thoughts and productive actions.
8. Practice awareness. Take a moment to collect yourself before reacting. Be less critical of yourself and create realistic beliefs about what it means just to be.
Learning from your mistakes and moving forward with a new perspective is the goal. By making healthier choices, you can avoid repeating the same behavior and reduce your feelings of guilt. Doing so allows you to transform obstacles into a springboard for personal growth and empowerment.
