Marsha GillThe world is challenging and tough enough without you being your greatest obstacle. Let’s just be real; you’re a tough opponent to beat. When you allow a pattern of thoughts and behaviors to create obstacles to achieving your goals. You are self-sabotaging? Self-sabotaging shows up in different ways. It might be limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, fears, insecurities, and other behaviors that become blessing blockers. Quite honestly, self-sabotaging is something we all do at one time or another. Most often, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Take a pause and reflect, and think about it. Some of us wait until we’re right there at the door to success, and in comes the sabotaging. Some sabotage themselves before they even take the first step, or perhaps those negative thoughts are on repeat before, during, and after. Either way, it is a classic case of self-sabotage.
Let’s go deeper and see if you engage in any of these self-sabotaging behaviors. Do you engage in negativity, disorganization, indecisiveness, and negative self-talk? What about perfectionism or imposter syndrome, yep both are forms of self-sabotage. Maybe you’re one to procrastinate, give up when things get rough, or lack assertiveness. What about relationships? This can manifest in several forms. Do you choose a partner who you know is incompatible? Maybe you pick fights when things are going well or find yourself just waiting for “something” to happen. You just can’t seem to let yourself be happy. Maybe you refuse to fully commit to relationships for fear that this is just too good to be true. Do you have unrealistic expectations? Let’s be honest; those unrealistic expectations are a way of protecting yourself from hurt and disappointment. Do you experience chronic mistrust? No seriously? I’m talking about you don’t trust them any further than you can throw them, and that ain’t far. Or you hold grudges, or all you can seem to focus on is the flaws of others. How are the relationships in your life impacted by your self-sabotaging behaviors?
Can you see how you can easily become the creator of your own chaos? Stuck in the same patterns, behaviors, and situations for years, trapped in a cage you created.
Self-sabotaging is often linked to insecurities, the fear of failure, and even the fear of success. Regardless of when it occurs, the causes are the same, and we end up blocking our own blessings and essentially self-dismantling dreams and desires. God has called each one of us to a life of abundance, joy, and peace. We all know that doesn’t mean that everything will always go well, nor does it mean that it’s meant to be comfortable. It does mean that God will be with us, leading and guiding us and moving us to where He wants us to be. Here’s a thought about self-sabotaging behavior, when we do it, we’re actively blocking God’s blessings from entering our lives and making a hole for the enemy to sneak in and take control.
Here are a few ways to avoid self-sabotage, stop blocking your blessings, and enjoy more success:
Think about your goals. Does this make you feel uncomfortable? This is the best predictor of your ability to follow through on a goal. If you can think about achieving your goal and only have positive feelings, you won’t sabotage yourself. But, if you get that queasy feeling, you know that you have some work to do. Pray for peace.
Visualize positive outcomes. If the results are left up to God, then everything turns out well. It’s only when you start predicting the worst that you’ll have issues.
Handle the worst. Consider the possible issues that may come up in the future and determine how you will handle them. This is a one-time exercise. Doing this every day will sabotage your efforts.
Avoid making decisions when you’re stressed. Quitting just before attaining your goals usually happens when you’re emotionally distressed. Decisions made in this mental state often focus on releasing that emotional stress instead of considering the future ramifications. Avoid big decisions until you’ve had a chance to calm down.
Avoid starting “tomorrow.” There’s always another tomorrow. It’s a moving target that’s always conveniently out of reach. Once you’ve set a goal, start doing something today. How many times have you “tomorrow-ed” yourself? The same thing can be said about starting on Monday or the first of the month.
Keep your mental chatter positive. Some experts say that we have up to 50,000 thoughts each day. Most of them aren’t particularly supportive or encouraging. You can change that!
Notice how you sabotage yourself. Do you suddenly quit? Do you procrastinate? What do you do to sabotage yourself? Knowing your tendencies will help you to recognize when your efforts are going off the rails. If you can see it coming, you can do something about it.
Stop fearing failure. You’ve failed at other things; I’m just saying. How bad was it really? Probably not that bad. Learn from your undesired outcomes and try again. That’s 90% of success in life.
Build your self-confidence. Some people self-sabotage because they believe they don’t deserve it. Show yourself love and desire the best for yourself. Then you’ll do the best for yourself.
Believe that you’re worthy of success, and you’re halfway there. Failure is a part of life. It’s even a necessary part of life. You become more knowledgeable and capable with each failure, and boy, will you have a story to tell. Study yourself and notice how you sabotage yourself so you can deal with it right away when it happens.
