A 60-Day Journey to Trust God, Heal Emotional Patterns, and Be Who He Created You to Be.
Still Becoming
Have you ever looked at your life and thought, I should be further along by now? Maybe you’ve worked hard to build a good life, but you still find yourself saying yes when you want to say no. Maybe you’re the woman everyone depends on, yet you’re tired of carrying so much alone. Or maybe you love God and believe He has a purpose for your life, but you’re still trying to understand how your past has shaped the way you see yourself.
If any of that sounds familiar, I want you to hear this: God is not finished with your story. That truth is at the heart of my book, Still Becoming: A 60-Day Journey to Trust God, Heal Emotional Patterns, and Be Who He Created You to Be. I am the oldest and only daughter. Growing up, I learned early how to anticipate needs, help out, keep things organized, and do whatever else needed to be done. The list goes on.
My mother would often say, “You’re so responsible. I never had to worry about you.” I know she meant it as a compliment. And part of me was proud to be someone she could count on. But I also heard something else: Keep being the one nobody has to worry about. Responsibility quickly became more than something I did. It became who I believed I had to be. I was the strong one. The dependable one. The one who pushed through and got it done, even when I needed someone to notice that I was struggling, too. There didn’t seem to be much room for her to fall apart. Sound familiar?
When an Oldest Daughter Grows Up
As an adult, being “the responsible one” followed me into other parts of my life. My friendships, my career, my marriage, my relationship with God. It looked like doing more than my share, struggling to share the load, and feeling responsible for everyone around me. Performing for man and for God. Rest brought guilt instead of relief.
Oh, and “I’m good. I’m fine. I’ve got this,” became my mantra, even when I didn’t feel good or fine. I struggled to ask for help, and receiving it could feel just as hard. I was a low-key perfectionist. I replayed mistakes, overthought decisions, and couldn’t say no to save my own life. Maybe your story looks different, but you recognize the feeling. People know they can depend on you. You show up. You handle things. And somewhere along the way, you stopped asking yourself, What do I need? There is nothing wrong with being responsible, strong, or dependable. Those are good qualities. The question is: When did they stop being qualities you possess and become requirements you believed you had to meet to be worthy? Yes, even worthy of God’s love.
Emotional Patterns Have a Story
For a long time, I didn’t understand that some of the things people admired about me were also connected to how I learned to cope. That is why I believe we need to get curious about our stories. When did you learn that you had to hold everything together? What happened when you needed help? What did you come to believe about rest, mistakes, or disappointing someone? Those questions are not about blaming our mothers or judging the younger versions of ourselves. They help us understand why we respond the way we do today. Sometimes what helped us get through one season becomes heavy to carry into the next.
Trusting God With the Parts of Your Story You’ve Kept Quiet
I believe God sees the woman who has spent years saying, “I’ve got this.” He also sees the girl who learned to say it before she was ready. Healing has meant being honest with God about both. I can thank Him for the strength that carried me while admitting that I’m tired. I can acknowledge what my mother gave me and still name what I needed. I can learn that asking for help does not make me less capable or less worthy. Philippians 1:6 reminds me that God is still at work in us. We do not have to arrive at some finished version of ourselves before we can come to Him. We can come with our pain, our questions, our patterns, our weariness, our weakness, and our willingness to grow.
Why I Wrote Still Becoming
I wrote Still Becoming: A 60-Day Journey to Trust God, Heal Emotional Patterns, and Be Who He Created You to Be for the woman who has carried a great deal while quietly wondering who she might be if she didn’t have to hold it all together. Each day offers Scripture, a reflection, a journal prompt, and a prayer. You’ll find daily invitations to slow down and pay attention to the patterns in your life, and talk honestly with God about what you discover. You may see yourself in the responsible daughter. You might discover you played small to feel safe. You may recognize people-pleasing, perfectionism, or the guilt you feel when you rest. You may begin to understand why receiving care feels unfamiliar. Whatever rises to the surface, you don’t have to meet it with shame. You can meet it with curiosity, compassion, and faith. Some of my favorites are Becoming in the Waiting, Choosing Stillness Over Striving, You Were Never Too Much, The Need to Control Everything, so ok, their all my favorites because this is my Still Becoming story. I wrote this for us!
You Are Allowed to Keep Becoming
One of the greatest gifts to witness is a mother in her 70s learning something new about herself. To step out of striving into thriving. To have a different relationship with herself and with her daughter. To see herself still becoming. Many are learning; I am still learning that I can be dependable without being responsible for everything. I can meet my own needs with putting that on my daughter. I can be strong and ask for help me. I can rest without earning it first. I’m still becoming. Maybe you are, too.
If you’ve been the woman everyone says they never have to worry about, I hope you’ll take a moment to ask how you are doing. Your needs matter. Your story matters. And God is not finished with you.
Still Becoming is an invitation to begin that conversation..one day, one honest reflection, and one prayer at a time. Grab your copy of Still Becoming: A 60-Day Journey to Trust God, Heal Emotional Patterns, and Be Who He Created You to Be. Through Scripture, reflection, journaling, and prayer, you’ll have space to explore your story, recognize the patterns you’ve carried, and invite God into the places that need healing.
