When We Fill in the Gaps of a Story We Don’t Fully Know
Series: What Was Inherited — A Chapter-by-Chapter Healing Read
Book: The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
Where We Are in the Story (So We’re Grounded Together)
By Chapter 14, Kennedy finds herself becoming increasingly curious about her mother’s past. For most of her life, Stella has simply been her mother. The woman who raised her. The woman who seemed to have all the answers. The woman whose life felt settled and complete. But now Kennedy is beginning to notice the gaps. The unanswered questions. The parts of her mother’s story that don’t quite fit together.
She wants space from her mother, but she also wants something else: Understanding. Who was Stella before she became a wife?
- Before she became a mother?
- Who had she loved?
- What had she wanted?
- What parts of her life existed before Kennedy entered the picture?
And perhaps most importantly: What wasn’t she being told? Through Jude, Kennedy begins finding pieces of a story she never knew existed. Not answers exactly. But a bridge. A way to move closer to understanding.
What This Chapter Is Really About
Chapter 14 is about the stories we create when we don’t have the whole story. Human beings don’t like gaps. We don’t like unanswered questions. We don’t like uncertainty. So when information is missing, we often fill in the blanks ourselves.
We assume. We interpret. We create narratives, our own explanations. Sometimes those explanations are accurate. Sometimes they’re not. But either way, they become the stories we live by and often live from. And that’s where Kennedy finds herself.
She knows pieces of her mother’s story. But she doesn’t know the whole story. And the more she notices the missing pieces, the harder it becomes to ignore them.
What Stirred Me in This Chapter
What stirred me most is how uncomfortable Kennedy becomes with not knowing. She begins asking questions she’s never asked before. And honestly, I think many of us can relate to that. There comes a point in grown-selves when the simple explanations no longer work for us. We want more. We want context. We want to know the story behind the story. Because the truth is, I haven’t met a family yet that doesn’t have gaps. The aunt nobody talks about. The grandfather who disappeared. The sibling who moved away and never came back. The relationship that ended but was never explained. And when no one gives us answers, we often create our own. Not because we’re trying to cause trouble. Because we’re trying to make sense of what doesn’t make sense.
What This Reveals About Emotional Inheritance
One thing I’ve learned through coaching is that emotional inheritance isn’t just what happened. It’s also the meaning we assign to what happened.
- A daughter whose father left may spend years believing: “He didn’t love me.”
- A daughter whose mother was emotionally distant may decide: “I wasn’t important.”
- A daughter who grew up in silence may conclude: “Nothing happened.”
Sometimes those stories are true. Sometimes they’re partially true. And sometimes they’re the only explanations available to a child trying to understand the world. Chapter 14 reminds us that many of the stories we carry about ourselves began as attempts to explain something we didn’t fully understand.
The Mother–Daughter Layer We Can’t Skip
From a mother-daughter perspective, this chapter feels especially important. Because many daughters believe they know why their mothers made certain choices. I thought I knew with my own mother until I learned more. I do know that it took time and no longer being emotionally undernourished which require I learn how to met my own emotional needs. It wasn’t until then, that I was able to hold space. We’ve had some difficult conversations and I’ve been blessed to hear another perspective. To discover details that were never shared. I’ve watched this happen countless times in coaching.
A daughter carries a story for decades.
“Nothing I do is enough”
“My mother didn’t care.”
“My mother loved my sibling more.”
“My mother chose work over me.”
And then one day she learns something new. Not something that erases the hurt. But something that adds context. And suddenly the story becomes more complicated. More human. More complete. That’s the journey Kennedy is beginning.
Jude Becomes a Bridge
One of my favorite parts of this chapter is Jude’s role in Kennedy’s life. Jude doesn’t have all the answers. She’s looking for answers herself. But she offers something valuable. Perspective. Connection. A bridge between what Kennedy knows and what she doesn’t. Sometimes healing doesn’t begin with answers. Sometimes it begins with a person who helps us ask better questions. And that’s exactly what Jude becomes. Juse becomes a bridge to understanding.
When the Story Behind the Story Begins to Surface
What makes Chapter 14 so powerful is that Kennedy is beginning to realize there may be more to her mother’s story than she ever imagined. And that realization is both unsettling and hopeful. Because once you realize there are missing pieces, you have a choice. You can stay with the version you’ve always known. Or you can become curious enough to explore what might be missing. That curiosity is often where healing begins.
A Gentle Reflection for You
As you sit with this chapter, consider:
- What story have you created about someone in your family?
- What information were you missing when that story was formed?
- Is it possible there’s more to the story than you currently know?
- What might curiosity make possible that certainty cannot?
You don’t need answers today. Just notice what comes up. Sometimes healing begins when we’re willing to revisit the stories we’ve always believed.
As We Continue the Series
Chapter 14 reminds us that family stories are rarely as simple as they first appear. The longer we live, the more we realize there is often a story behind the story. And sometimes healing begins when we become curious enough to look for it.
We’ll continue exploring that together—
Chapter by chapter.
